Actually... Giving Birth Did Scare Me

When I was pregnant I didn't think too much about how the end result would go from A (the womb) to B (my arms) until later into the pregnancy and I was asked about my birth plan and pain relief. I don't know what I looked like when my midwife asked me these questions but I did feel like all the colour from my face dropped and I either put on way too much pale make-up on my face or I was actually a ghost. Sadly it was neither because I don't own much make-up to fail that badly and if I was a ghost I wasn't very good because I couldn't walk through walls or float around.

I had heard all sorts of stories from other parents, my own mother being an example of it going tits up. She did have pain relief known as Pethidine and if you don't know already the downside of this type of pain relief is that it can make you feel sleepy. In her case she did become very sleepy, so for me Pethidine was a bit of a no-way-not-in-a-million-years option in my books. I mean I feel like ass when I take Night Nurse I'll probably be just as bad with Pethidine. I should point out 26 years ago Epidural was considered very high risk so wasn't given out as often as it is today.

Speaking of which lets talk about Epidural. I considered this one, however I did say that I have a massive fear of needles and with my blood type meaning I required injections and blood tests more than usual this was underlined and noted in my green booklet several times. I mean when I had to have a blood test done as a teenager I had five nurses try and hold me down so that gives you a sort of idea on how bad I can be all thanks to a fear of something so silly. I knew this but I was so scared of the pain of giving birth that I told her that if it really was all that bad and I was screaming for it then by all means slap the damn thing into my back. Thinking about how the Epidural is put in even right now is making my legs turn to jelly. Actually I'm going to move off the subject before I turn into a ghost again.

The next choice I was given was gas and air. This can make you feel a bit sickly and light headed but seemed probably the best choice so I put my thumbs up for this to be nearby at all costs, I've spent the last 9 months feeling sickly and light headed plus the added bonus of my feet starting to swell up so surely breathing into a mask couldn't be all that much different except I'm now wearing a very creepy fashion accessory over my mouth and nose.

The day of my birth flew by and I was beginning to think about how this baby was coming out of me. I was due to meet my midwife to help "get things moving" which is code for "I'm going to stick my fingers up your vagina" although there's probably some more science related stuff behind it too but I cannot remember it was over 2 years ago. I was thankful that this wasn't require, however when the contractions really started to get bad that was when I wondered if the fashionable mask was now needed. Lucky for me every room had one of these beauties by the beds and so I used it for a total of 1 minute before I gave up and felt like I was on the moon with no gravity holding me down.

I suddenly felt like sitting in some warm water. I have no idea why I felt like this as the room was so bloody hot and the fan was only cooling a small area of the room so the midwife helped me get to one of their special baths, filled it with water that was of the right temperature and told me where everything was in case I had any issues as perhaps my screams of bloody murder may not be loud enough so an alarm cord was placed by the bath. Actually the water did help me and I felt relaxed... for about 2 minutes when the pain got worse and now I just felt like a wet blob trapped in a green tub (Mom if you are reading this: do you remember the green vomit colour bath set we had once? That colour only the sink didn't match for some reason maybe it was out of stock in Pretty In Puke) so out I came and back to my room... I don't remember how I got back to our room at all but I must have got there somehow as that was the room I gave birth in.

In the end I gave birth with zero pain relief and the only assistance I had was a nurse who popped her head between my legs then back up to say "we need to make a cut, are you okay with this?" which I recall made me panic for what felt like forever but really was for a second or two and I just told her if it gets the baby out then do it. Oh my god that felt so weird when she made the cut, actually no I won't talk about that too much because once again I feel myself going back into ghost mode, sorry I'm terrible and to think I somehow gave birth. I think the tiny cut scared me less than her coming back up to say "We need to do a C-Section" or "IT'S GONNA BLOW!" y'know?

I still own that outfit even though the hat was massive on him

Well in the end after they stuck a plunger on my son's head I was handed my baby, shown how to put a nappy on, how to put baby clothes on (sounds daft but he looked like he'd break the moment we touched him) and the I was given a free ride on a wheelchair upstairs to the home for new mothers.

Giving Birth: Why I'd Do it Again!

Anyone who has read my birth experience post will know it was a good one with only minor issues. Many women are put off giving birth, but for me I'd happily do it again and again! Here are my reasons why.

- Being pregnant made my hair look fab and my skin feel lovely!
- I got some lovely compliments about my skin, self-esteem would rise from this.
- I felt closer to my fiancé, though he probably suffered the brunt of any mood swings I had (sorry, sweetie!).
- The rush of joy and happiness when they handed me my baby was amazing.
- You get to buy cute baby clothes, that's a positive in my eyes!
- I go outside much more then I use to (I was one of those "eeepp sunlight!" types.) and I actually like it.
- I can talk to myself in shops, everyone thinks I'm just chatting to my son and not being weird!
- I can look and buy toys without people thinking I'm an adult that needs to grow up (I'm a fan of Gran & Granddad's Mega Blocks).
- Watching my son grow up does make me a tad broody.
- I actually felt good about myself even when I had a massive bump!

Of course there are downsides that I went through. Such as...

- My feet were sore and sometimes would swell up.
- Morning sickness!
- I missed being able to wear my normal jeans.
- My lovely hair fell out after giving birth. Noooo!
- I have a huge collection of baby clothes that no longer fit (but they are too cute to bin!).
- Baby poo.... I still can't stand the smell of a poo filled nappy.

But those don't put me off, okay the last one does a tiny bit but it's only for a while until they are potty trained so I think I can live with something that isn't going to be a problem all the time.

My Birth Experience

I have only had one child and had heard many stories, all of which would get into full detail of the pain and about half of them would say it was an awful experience. In the end I decided to just ignore everyone and just enjoy being pregnant, I mean why worry and stress out during such a wonderful period in your life?

On my due date I was getting calls from all sorts of family members and friends asking me how I was and all manner of things. I was just uncomfortable and tired. The only pains I had were my feet were bloody sore! Five days overdue now and I was getting a bit grumpy and tired of waddling around like a fat penguin. I was told to keep upright and walking will help. By bedtime I was having problems as I was in more discomfort and unable to sleep. I was having to go to the toilet pretty much ever half an hour, but any pains I had weren't regular so I just waddled around the flat until it was morning. Saturday we decided to do some washing up and bit of cleaning together so we were in the kitchen together and I was simply at the sink. I could feel some pains like I had in the night but they didn't bother me so I ignored them and just continued to do as much as I can around the flat. I soon got tired of being on my feet as they were sore plus the fact I hadn't slept properly in a while so I tried to nap. It was now dark and I had given up being on my feet and figured may as well go play an online game for a while. The pains were still there so I took out my iPhone and began to check the times in-between each pain. They were fairly close to one another, about eight minutes apart. I wasn't in much pain but we decided may as well go get checked out.

We got to the hospital and they hooked me up and checked me out. The room was empty and was simply five midwives and a doctor (who was in surgery for most of the time I was there) and not a single other woman to be seen. An hour later and the midwife came back to me and said "you're doing well, you're five centimetres dilated" with a smile on her face. I looked at my fiancé with a rather 'oh... bugger' sort of expression. I honestly expected them to go "Go back home, you wuss!" as these contractions had been pretty easy. They helped me out whilst my man went outside to sort the parking ticket (we paid for one hour just in case and so he needed to add a few more hours onto it) and call his parents and mine, who had not long just arrived to the area we live in and had just finished setting up their caravan.

I had been given a very nice private room which was warm, had a very nice and clean bed. What we enjoyed was the fact there was a television for us to watch and just for us geeks out there it was the day XMen 2 was on! So we watched that as my pains got a bit more painful. I tried the bath and that helped me for about five minutes, so got out and went back to waddling about and enjoying the movie. They offered me some gas and air, however it made me feel light-headed and I could barely think straight so I gave up on it. By then the pains were bad and I called the midwife in with the remote I had been given. I was trying to stay calm as she had already told me not to push because my waters had not broke, but now I was having that 'push now' feeling and found it hard not to do so. She checked me and decided to break my waters for me. The moment it did to me it felt like a large weight just gushed out of me and left the wonderful and hygienic room in a rather awful state.

Now it was time, I was in labour. I was thinking to myself how the hell was I going to do this and remember my mind replying with "well how else did you think the baby was coming out? Magic?" and  very quickly I stopped caring about it and just wanted to see my baby. It had been over an hour and I found the room filling up with midwives and doctors. They told me because I was having some trouble they were going to use the ventouse. I remembered being told what this was and how it worked so I didn't question it and just nodded. Then I was told "I need to make a small cut, is that okay?". I hadn't even considered this and just went "do what you need to do!" and I felt a tiny twinge as she made the cut. Two pushes later and he was out!

Because I had stitches put in and because he had a sore area on his head from the ventouse they sent me up to the ward to stay overnight. At first I was in a room with three other women who all had baby girls, but just a couple of hours later I was offered a private room with a television and sink. I didn't really want to stay overnight in a hospital, but I knew it was the right thing to do and I did have trouble getting him to feed from the breast at first.

The morning after and I had a room full of doctors, nurses and midwives doing all sorts of checks, giving me advice and showing me how to do things like giving him a bath. I can barely remember what was going on, my toast had gone cold from having to talk to so many people at once. I was just happy to hear from my fiancé who had kindly gone and bought some outfits, nappies and other stuff for our new arrival. I was told I could go home soon, but hours went and this was due to the fact I needed to show my midwife who was looking after me that day that I can feed him. When he wanted a feed I called using the buzzer which didn't work. We told a staff member to get her for us and she never came. Finally she came, it was dark outside by now and it was because she had a lunch break when I was feeding him then spent rest of the time signing other women out. The paperwork took so long to do, I just wanted to go home right now! In the end we were let out and drove back home to find grandparents waiting outside our flat to greet their grandson.

Honestly for me the birth couldn't have gone any better. Sure I needed some stitches and he had his head stuck to a plunger type gadget, but it wasn't a bad experience for me and to me that's all I could have asked for.